Sex At Dawn

Jul 24
— Reposted from Nathan Lively’s personal blog

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A year ago Mark and I started a satirical podcast called Big Time Dates. The idea back then was to make fun of relationship experts and savvy online marketing (sort of like Adbusters or Daily Affirmations With Stuart Smalley). As the year has passed, however, I’ve begun to realize that my effort to continue the project stems from deeper desires than mockery or satire. And when I recently read Sex at Dawn, these desires became clear: the podcast is really about promoting open communication and better understanding my own sexuality and the sexual nature of human beings overall.

The premise of Sex at Dawn is simple: Our biological baseline is to have a number of sexual relationships at the same time. The authors write:

“Homo sapiens evolved to be shamelessly, undeniably, inescapably sexual. Lusty Libertines. Rakes, rogues, and roués. Tomcats and sex kittens. Horndogs. Bitches in heat.” (Pg.46*)

Of course, as we all know, societal norms don’t permit us to act on this evolutionary trait. Repression of our non-monogamous sexual desires is a fact of Western, “civilized” life.

Sex at Dawn diplomatically states that “Whether or not our society’s investment in sexual repression is a net gain or loss is a question for another time,” but it’s clear to us here at BTD that sexual repression is unequivocally a net gain. Just ask the porn industry, which rakes in $50-100 billion annually. Or consult the data on drugs like Viagra, which bring in $1.9 billion every year. While BTD doesn’t pull in quite this kind of money, our strategy is exactly the same. Just like pornographers and drug manufacturers, we too are profiteers of sexual repression.

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This post written by Nathan Lively & Sara Tretter

Just like Al Capone was a hero during prohibition in the U.S., Nathan and Mark are heroes of sexual devolution. We sneak in that sweet tasty repression that forward thinking liberals would like to keep out. Here at BTD, we give you that good loving. And by loving I mean abuse. We exploit the tension between human beings’ naturally non-monogamous nature and society’s expectation of lifelong monogamy, and the inevitable shame and isolation that this tension engenders. “Sexual and emotional isolationism is a culturally imposed aberration for our species,” and this aberration creates a sweet spot of shame and self-loathing.

The characters we play in the podcast are hyperbolic examples of what humans can become in an attempt to escape these unpleasant emotions. “Mark” and “Nathan” are constantly inventing new plans for sexual domination and then failing fantastically, all in the space of 30 seconds. They want so badly to fix their own loneliness, not acknowledging that they have already succeeded as the show so often end in epic bro-mance (Describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males). Meanwhile, sex is inflated in a monstrous King-Kong towering above us, never to be understood.

Womens-Tank-Top-Big-Time-DatesOppression of women and sexual repression are kissing cousins, and so at BTD we celebrate them both equally. “Societies in which women have lots of autonomy and authority tend to be decidedly male-friendly, relaxed, tolerant, and plenty sexy.” And continuing, “If you’re unhappy at the amount of sexual opportunity in your life, don’t blame the women. Instead, make sure they have equal access to power, wealth, and status. Then watch what happens.”* Unfortunately, what will happen is the end of Big Time Dates. So don’t let it! Preserve the patriarchy and our endless supply of high-fives and self-deprecating humor! Live in fear! Buy our T-shirts!

Humans need to seek peace with the truth of our sexual nature. But as the real social change required to do so seems unlikely at best, the next best thing may just be rude, unapologetic satire that illustrates what we can become when we suppress who we naturally are.

You’re welcome, America.

*Sex At Dawn, by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha, published by Harper Perennial in 2011

Filed Under: Sext

Get Your Date Sucked At Work

Jun 26

We all want to do it. But should we? Today we ask the question “How do you deal with your natural sexual desires when at work?” Would you masturbate on the job? Or rip a co-workers clothes off in a broom closet for a quickie? Steve Pavlina, a passionate blogger, said in a recent post that a friend was trying to convince him to give up his blog and get an office job. Here’s what happened:


Friend:
Your life sucks. You need to get an office job and work in a cubicle. Live the dream, man.
Steve:    
But that’s stupid. I get so much pussy.
Friend:
No you don’t. You’re wearing sweatpants…
Steve
:    …Well if I worked in an office, would I get to sex girls?big-time-dates-office-romance
Friend: What are you talking about?
Steve:    Well, if I’m with a female coworker, and we both get horny, then do we get to go take a shag break? Like, are there special rooms for that?
Friend: Oh no no no. You could both get fired for that sort of thing.
Steve:    Fired? Why? What if it’s just a quickie and we still get all our work done?
Friend: Yeah, don’t do that. The company could get sued.
Steve:    Ok… so I have to settle for blowjobs then?
Friend: …Goodness no. That’s just as bad.
Steve:    So what do people do if they get horny at work? People still get horny at their jobs, don’t they?
Friend: Sure… they get horny all the time. But they suppress it and pretend they’re not. Then they take care of themselves later, off the clock, usually with porn.
Steve:    Seems easier just to have a quickie, maybe take a short cuddle nap, and then go back to work refreshed and happy.
Friend: I’m pretty sure that’s illegal in a corporate setting.
Steve:    …But those positive, after-sex feelings make collaboration easier. Trying to suppress one’s sexual desires every day seems like it would be very distracting.
Friend: It is distracting of course, but remember that you aren’t expected to be too productive anyway, so it works out okay.

Why is this taboo!??

The truth is, “you spend a lot of time at work, in an environment packed with people who share similar goals & have a high likelihood for compatibility.” Writer Crystal Miller once worked for a company that promoted inter-office dating. Their policy – “Your significant other will be comfortable because they’ll know where you are.  You’re both happy.  We’re happy because we know you’ll be more productive and that’s better for business.  Everybody wins.” This company won Best Place To Work on local & state levels several times.

big-time-dates-dating-worplaceAuthor Nicole Williams agrees, which is why she wrote Office Sex Survival Guide. It’s basically a manual for getting your date sucked at work. As she says, “When tensions are flaring, office space is tight, and we’re logging 60 hours of face time a week, how couldn’t we expect a little chemical reaction?” And lots of women are doing it, as she reports, “An estimated 10 million couples met their mate at the office in 2003.”

So if it’s so natural, why not have a designated Shag Break Room in the office as Pavlina suggested? I’m sure this has existed somewhere, sometime in the world. Please research this and get back to BTD HQ in the morning.

NOTE: Here are some work places that are not good to have sex at: kindergarten, high-rise window washer, bus driver, waste water treatment plant.

Filed Under: Sext