Date Anyone With New Speech Analysis Robot

May 15

At Big Time Dates we keep you up-to-date with the latest in dating technology. For instance, how about a speech-analyzing robot that can tell you exactly what to say to bag that Big Time Date? Interested? Good, because I’m about to you tell you how to talk your way into the Big Time Date of your dreams.

Psychologist James Pennebaker at the University of Texas has discovered that when the use of function words—the, like, this, though, I, and, there, an, that—match in two people, they are much more likely to get their date sucked.

His research also shows that the person who has a higher power status uses the word I less. This is corroborated by this example from The Charisma Myth in which two politicians running for Prime Minister in London happen to date the same woman at the same time.

Naturally, the press asked her what impressions the rivals had made. She said, “After dining with Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest person in England. But after dining with Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest person in England.”

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to realize that Mr. Disraeli knew the power of I and other function words. He could have said, “Girl I’m so hard right now, ” but instead he said, “Girl you make me so hard. Now deal with it!”

Now I know what your thinking, “Oh, I’ll just adjust my speech so that my date and I use similar function words.” Wrong! Unfortunately, function words are basically invisible and it would be impossible for you to monitor someone else’s function words and adjust your own to match. Impossible for YOU, but not for a ROBOT.

 

INTRODUCING…

the Big Time Dates Sexy Talk Robot.

It monitors your conversation (assuming you actually get that far) by using Pennebaker’s Linguistic Inquiry and Word Count program, and tells you what to say. The words we use reflect who we are so stop losing dates because of your meager self-image. Big Time Dates Sexy Talk Robot knows exactly what you need to say to create the illusion of genuine interest that we all crave.

WRONG

big-time-dates-Sexy-Talk-Robot-wrong

 

RIGHT

big-time-dates-Sexy-Talk-Robot

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