Dating Montage Photos

Big Time Dates Meet Sugar Daddie

Nov 17

Besides Big Time Dates, where else can I meet attractive, wealthy and desirable trophy dates? The good folks at Sugar Daddie deliver a high-grade of person so you don’t have to worry about accidentally being paired with an ugly looser.

The first thing they do is set the bar high – a million dollar entrance fee and no fatties. Then they run your face through the Ugly Meter iPhone app and BAAM, pleasure town.

Sugar Daddie has been pestering us for a review. We’ve been putting them off for months because our schedules have been really busy with, uh, dates. Look forward to a future podcast where we reveal all of the dirty details from inside the Sugar Daddie machine.

Sugardaddie

PS. Although we weren’t initially accepted, using advanced computer hacking sciences we were able to provide this authentic membership profile.

Filed Under: Dating Montage Photos

Ana Tijoux Is Hot For Big Time Dates

Oct 16

Nathan caught up with Ana Tijoux at her recording studio somewhere in Spain and boy was he happy. Her new single, 1977, is blowing up and we had to get in on the action. In case you don’t speak Spanish and can’t tell from the photo, we’re totally on a Big Time Date.

Ana Tijoux Date

Mark says, “realdate”

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McCartney-Godkin Wedding FRAUD

Oct 9

She’s an affluent, American heiress, he’s holding a finger gun at her, just saying, decide for yourself.¬† but it’s obvious. Photo courtesy of BTD.

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Mobile Dating Unit

Sep 21

So many requests come in for Big Time Dates that, sadly, we turn many people away with the excuse, “We can’t be everywhere at once.” Well, now we can! After the massive conflagration in Bastrop county we salvaged this vehicle.

Mobile Dating Unit Before Restoration

Mobile Dating Unit Before Restoration 2

Later that afternoon…

The world’s first Mobile Dating Unit is born.

Mobile Dating Unit After Restoration

Features include:

  1. External combustion electric motor powered by our personal collection of vibrator batteries
  2. Corded phone with direct hotline to BTD switchboard
  3. High-def floppy disc audio recording
  4. Easy-in easy-out door-less entry
  5. Rear-view mirror, but we never look back, or forward, only out of the side
  6. Tailored suits that show we’re DTF

DTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTFDTF

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World Cup Dating – The Group Stage

Aug 15

With fame comes strenuous time demands and a difficult romantic life. How does the most famous woman in soccer find love? Hope Solo came to us last month to solve her lackluster money-maker. After the first round of photo shoots we took a week off. After the second round of nude photo shoots we adopted the following strategy.

Welcome to Big Time Dates – The Group Stage.

Hope Solo's Big Time Date

Filed Under: Dating Montage Photos

The BTD Triple Threat

Jun 24

Three Big Time Dates, Three Big Time Successes

For this week of fun-filled dating, we assembled a dream team of true virgins. The Triple Threat, as we coin them, comprise of Vrad (with an icebreaker name, guaranteed to get the response “Wtf? You’re different in a bad way.”), Andrew (slave trader extraordinaire (of all races, which is quite mod)), and Julie (high school’s valedickBORian, and most likely college’s valedicSOBOOOOOOOOOORING, so she’s got that going against her). Let’s see how they fared.

We sent Andrew on his first Big Time Date, ever. You tell me if he enjoyed it…

Andrew, let us know if she’s as good at yoga as she is at hot wiring your car

and driving to Mexico the morning after while you’re still sleeping.

ok, seriously, her background check was NOT clean.

 

Wow. Julie. This photo tells of a night of debauchery.

I think I went to high school with one of the guys… Creepy.

 

 

Our last big time date of the week is Vrad. And it’s his birthday!

Don’t seduce us, Vrad, seduce the girl you’re holding!

Oh well, n00b

Filed Under: Dating Montage Photos

Mark takes Kristina on a real date

May 20

 

Sometimes you meet someone special enough to take them waterbed shopping on the first date.

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Amanda Wins On This BTD

May 14

Amanda did what? On her Big Time what?? oh, she dressed up as a Turkish dominatrix and put two old, naked guys in a cage. Right.

Amanda Wins on this Big Time Date

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Craig Home Alone

May 10

Sorry to hear that your wife went on vacation without you, but it looks like you had a pretty, um, big time home alone.

Craig's Big Time Date

Also, someone sent us this on location recording.

Play

Filed Under: Dating Montage Photos

Kerri & Matt

May 4

Sometimes, a Big Time Date doesn’t go the way you planned. Other times, it goes the EXACT way you planned. And it’s pretty obvious which way this date went…

Kerri & Matt

We should point out that the horse rental shop was low on inventory, so Jeremy, the guy at the bottom, was riding a miniature pony.

 

Filed Under: Dating Montage Photos