What Is Big Time Dates?

Nov 10

Hey everyone! This is the one and ONLY time we will publish anything authentic and true (except for Dick Chart (and Pussy Plot (and all the podcasts (and all of the Big Time Dates we send people on))), of course).

  • We are the Colbert Report of the romance world. Ego-maniacs put out manipulative material and we one-up them, hard.
  • We are the Adbusters of online dating. We’ll Photoshop you into a successful love-filled life.
  • We are the Always Sunny In Philadelphia of sex. We come up with elaborate penis satisfying schemes that blow up in your face.

And all of this, in a 30 second podcast.

Mark and Nathan have decided to each submit a short essay on why we created this site.

.NATHAN

BIG TIME DATES is a reaction to the ever-increasing importance given to the form of sexual expression known as dating. You can’t throw a stone without hitting a dating website that guarantees h-a-p-p-i-n-e-s-s or a reality TV show with stupid models with stupid boobs. And I’m not talking about the social dating leading to friendships and expanded awareness, I’m talking about a means to an end.

If you’ve never used an online dating site, ask some of your friends about it. People’s experiences vary from jubilant to horrified as egos and expectations clash. But all we really want at BTD is for everyone to CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Through satirical How To articles and industry expert interviews we try to point out how silly you have been. Now watch how the media preys on your desires. They want your emotional commitment and $$$ and you’re giving it to them. It’s not them, it’s YOU. I promise.

All dating advice and services online are horse shit and ours is the stinkiest. With each post we pack the EXPLOSIVES to s~h~o~c~k you out of your emotional servitude. So n.e.x.t time you see an ad that makes your head spin, send it to us. Want us to cover an issue that’s bothering you? Write us about shit.

 

MARK

You wouldn’t know dark comedy if it pooped on your face.

Broadcasting from the Mobile Dating Unit

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