Don’t I Know You?

The only 30-second dating podcast guaranteed to get your date sucked.

 

 

Hi, I’m Nathan!
I know you’re wondering about my relationship status sooooooo, why don’t you pick me up?

…and that’s how you pick up a lady. Simple. As. That.

 

 

 

Hi, I’m Mark!
A lot of people have been asking why I don’t carry around condoms.
That’s because I carry Plan B. But I don’t call it Plan B, I call it Plan A.

 

 

 

 

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Chief Analyst

Lucas

 

 

 

 

 

Here at Big Time Dates (NASDAQ:BTD) we pride ourselves in helping those less fortunate. Our approach is simple: we study the game, and tell you the tips and tricks to put you in control of your sex organ. Read an in-depth analysis of our research methods here. Also, Nathan recently posted a ground-breaking personal growth analysis of our vision on his blog.

So, how many dates did you go on last week?
umm, you don’t know, do you? Well we have a chart for it… Not for you, but for us.

Oh, we heard your psychiatrist prescribed you more pills to mask the fact that your BTDs lost the BT to make them boring Ds. Well, we say sell those pills, send us your happy face (click the Get Results NOW! tab), and watch the success roll in.

5 Comments

  • Deborah Ellison says:

    Is it skanky to listen to Big Time Dates if I am married?
    How many dates will can I actually plan on receiving if I spend my time listening to Big Time Dates?
    Do they have to be with my husband?
    You don’t know his e-mail do you?
    Thank you for putting me in control of my sex organ
    Sincerely
    Mrs. jasdhiuwbf##@9*&0

    • admin says:

      Hi Deborah, I mean Mrs. jasdhiuwbf##@9*&0,
      First of all, thanks for bringing your skanky cheating sex organ controlling questions to us, the authority. Listening to BTD is about the skankiest thing you can do, period. Make sure you are using your chart [see episode 6] and go for the biggest dates you can possibly get. If that’s with your husband, we don’t give fuck. Chart it. Move on. Upwards and onwards. Please check in with us weekly. Stay tuned for our new online charting system and other premium content.

  • Pingback: Happy Birthday Mark – Big Time Dates

  • Kyle says:

    What are your thoughts about edible underwear?
    How long would you expect them to last for?

    • Nathan says:

      You’re right. This is a valid concern. Should you wear edible underwear out on a first date? Sure, everything will probably work out and you’ll be a hero, but what are the odds that she wants to jump in the creek and they just melt right off. Well, either way you’re still a hero.

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